good bye shiva boy

I just realized that I didn't mention our Shiva boy here and our mini day of the dead here at Sol i Luna Farm this past July.  Our little guy went to spirit & his body found its way to a hole in our field on a hot summer day.  I cried and cried.  It was pain I was surprised to feel - my heart tore open wide to remember and realize that he was gone gone and also that we all can go go,  just - like - that.  Death is the *most* extreme in it's alteration.  One minute alive and breathing -- with the possibilty of anything and then the next moment existing in one choice only, to decay or preserve.  I have never known the death angel to come to me in threes like it did that day.  First - Luna finds Little One, feathers still & lying on her side in the coop - Meg helps us take her out ... there is much wailing ... all are shocked.  Walking up from the coop to the house I notice that Second - the 8 foot sunflower in front of the house has keeled over - minutes before it had been vibrant and strong & now not even wilted but destiny decided.  By the time I was sitting processing the Third - that Shiva had died at the vet's following a difficult surgery, the leaves of the mammoth were wilted and we had a multiple burial to tend to.

I wrapped little grey bodies in muslin ... lovingly ... I wailed and howled ... unleashing such sobs ... and I was the only one.  My husband and daughter so stoic, so strong, so present and thankfully able to dig graves and lift dead bodies and lay them down to rest eternal.  We all gathered flowers - we spoke our piece and made peace as we could.  It was beautiful and I was numb as the sun set on a really really hard day just as it always does.

And low behold, then it rose the next day. 
What a miracle that we can face death and live life.

thank you little sweet boy for all that you were to us.
thank you for loving popcorn and being such a good friend to Rutabega.
he misses you still sometimes and so do I.
thank you for being such a trooper, moving cross country and to so many states as we figured our life out.
I remember you when you would catch butterflies in mid-air and the time you jumped into the bowl of popcorn while we were watching a movie...
I will always be grateful for knowing you and loving you.
I wish that you had been able to go here at home but I trust that all went with divine grace.

and I continue to love and trust.

xo